bare in mind

Apologising:
does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right.
It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

 Have you ever apologise?

story of muh life

faves

What IF

It’s 2am of Friday now. Exactly 2 and 3 quarter days from my exams. And though I have more than ¼ of my syllabus uncovered yet, guess what I’ve been doing for the past 6 hours.I have been reading a novel by Cecelia Ahern, from start to finish.

Yes. Instead of revising 2 chapters of Business Analysis and possibly another 2 more FRS, I chose to do something that is quite crazy and what students in their right mind and a condition like mine, would never do.

Everyone would be trying to revise as much as possible, rest and eat only when necessary, then back to revising. Especially when time wasn’t sufficient in the first place.
But I decided to spend the night away on a novel. One I’ve read before, yet still able to touch me to tears with its simple storytelling. I think I’m particularly emotional when I’m stressed. Tears come unexpectedly easy, at the slightest tug of heartstring. Be it a simple sentence, a scene, or even a photograph.

As we face stress everywhere we turn to, we gradually lose sight of what is the most important. Being in a relatively happy state is extremely important when you’re under stress. So I decided to sit back and let Ivan cheered me up through his perspective of life and friendships.

Might regret this tomorrow, now that I’m even more behind schedule than I already was, since I’ve let a good 6 hours slipped away. But, people make do with what they have and move on.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do with the next few days.

Do your best, Puiyee. =)


ps: I wish i have an invisible friend too, who loves and cares for u in silence.

P1 P2 P3, KILL 'EM!!

Counting down from two weeks,starting 0000 tonight.

Yes, it's gonna be exhausting and depressing all over again.
but i shall fight to stay above the water and not drown myself.

Stay strong and get though this!
You can do it!!! =)

ps: why do i keep dripping water accidentally on my keyboard. now my keyboard goes like this: abcdeg

yes the missing alphabet not working.. =.=

Mixed emotions

Tomorrow will be my last day in NZ. Another crazy fuck year has passed by again. Im having this mixed feelings again, bittersweet. Time flies so quickly its crazy. Nevertheless, I didnt really enjoy the drama and bitching that has occured, especially the recent semester. Im glad, somehow, something has put a halt to all of these shytes. Next year, will be most definitely more challenging. Im assured and I have been told repeatedly.
As for now, I shall be grateful. KL wait for me my love.

how about u?

The inside of me is crying.
And I dont quite knw why.
Its eating me inside, its painful. Have you ever had this feeling?

seems unclear.

please pray for me...

tachyphylaxis

Don't you dare desensitize on me right now, receptors!!! wake up wake up wake up !!!

stressed.

I took this too far...
Hope it doesnt screws up my liver badly. Will text my seniors about the side effects, cuz my bladder is stinging.

Final sucks, doesnt just emotionally mindfuck you , its physically debilitating too.

Difference by mere few hours

and I would be able to meet Sodagreen in Gurney Plaza! Just too bad~ =<

Anyway, am just back from Penang! Every trip of mine to Penang is always either for wedding or cny. Since it isn’t CNY yet for another few months, this time is a wedding of a cousin’s. I actually volunteered to follow mom back to Penang this time, ‘cause the timing’s good (I need a holiday away from home) and I wanna see my cousin sis get married.

The wedding dinners were great, both at hotels. Didn’t take any photos, since my camera’s spoilt and my handphone camera would not do justice to the beautiful decorations.
The groom’s family should be quite well-off, judging from the arrangements of the entire wedding. But I think the groom’s also loving, polite, filial and good looking. Haha…feel happy for my cousin sis. My uncle is a really kind and generous person, always helpful and warm to the entire family.
So I guess the good karma returns in form of blessings to his daughter. =)

Sea view during cocktail session at E&O hotel

Usually I get kinda bored during these kinda family gatherings, because my cousins are all wayyy elder than me. So on top of the fact that we’re not close since we rarely meet, there’s the age gap that makes conversation almost awkward and difficult. But this time is different! I got to know a few of my cousins’ kids. (yes, not only are they married, they have kids as well….thus the huge gap between us)

Hui En

This little girl may look abit stoned here, but she’s like the brightest kid I’ve seen around in a while… and she happened to like me alot haha. Chatted with her for awhile in cousin’s house after the tea ceremony and she started to warm up to me.
Very eager to learn, very fun to teach and converse with, and very cute!

She’s the flower girl for the wedding dinner. She’s been excited bout it for awhile, and we even practiced walking slowly together. But she was nervous when it’s the real thing and ended up walking down the aisle without throwing her flower petals. Haha…

My uncle booked us two studio apartment units at Golden View, which could be interconnected through doors in the middle, to accommodate all of us (around 12 ppl).
Each has 3 rooms with kitchen area and living room. Comfortable and spacious, and it’s really reasonable at a price of around RM220/day on weekdays. But since it’s a serviced apartment there’s a stated minimum stay requirement of at least 30 days. Don’t know how my uncle can book it for only 2 days. Lol.

Our room, with the too-soft pillows.

Dawn.
This reminds me of the neighbourhood view from my primary school.

When we parted this morning, Hui En looked like almost going to cry d, poor girl. I felt surprised yet kinda happy when she looked at me and said
“I love you”. Damn cute la, aih. Miss her all the way back home. She gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek and I sent her a flying kiss.

The long car drive is the only pain la during the entire trip. 5 hours from Penang to KL. But since we’re not the ones driving, no complaints. Tumpang another uncle’s car =P
So we returned to his home to get our car back.

This is JianChin!

Another cousin’s kid. Befriended him when we stopped by at uncle's house before we left for Penang. Thought he forgot about me after 2 days, apparently not. Came with all hugs and big-eyed stares once I sat at the couch. Haha… he’s so cute that the first thing he asked his aunt when we entered the house was
“ki do lok??” (Hokkien translated: where’ve you been?)

So that concluded my Penang trip with mom. Although the trip to PD was cancelled due to foreseen circumstances, Penang trip was quite nice also. =)
My maternal uncles and aunts always feel more warm compared to my paternal ones, despite we meet so much lesser.

And I realized a few things during this trip:
1) My Hokkien understanding seem to have improved significantly, despite the fact that I can’t speak well. Must be those taiwanese dramas that my mom watches...=.=

2) So there are kids who like me naturally! My paternal side nephews don’t, but maybe that’s because I don’t really like them either haha..no "yuen fan"

3) Timetable’s out! >.<

Ego-buster.

Conversation on phone with mum last night,

Mum: Stop hopping and swinging around, find one and just stick to her.
Me: Errr...
Mum: You know,though you have the looks (*reluctantly admit), you are short for a guy.
Thanks mum, ya so nice
LOL LOL LOL
Still love ya, cant wait to go back.

Im bored

Motivation

On average, I have four cups of coffee a day. Reason? Pretty simple, Im trading my health for longer attention span, and for good mood. =)
Guess this is another habit of mine when exams are looming. Will decaff myself on summer hols.

As for now, I still find it very difficult to initiate and gallop my way through all my notes. Its torturing. And scary. Guess practice makes perfect anyway...

Hmm, she can be a good role model...in this case, after somewhat 4 arrests...

frozen food ≠ no good

I had pie. And I feel fat now.

Happy holidays!

YESH, finals is over. And it’s been over since last Friday.

Time to recharge, rejuvenate, re-ini, and re-itu. Haha… Pick back up everything that I’ve forced myself to give up with “enormous determination” during the past 4 weeks.

I’m telling you examinations aren’t what they used to be starting from my previous one is January 2010. Other than the fact that we have to study like crazy 3 weeks straight before exams to cram as much as possible into our memory, attempting to stick them long enough till the exam days, we experienced symptoms.

These symptoms are the exact evidence that “the exams aren’t the only thing that’s difficult but the process of going through the exams itself is torture,” as what lynyen said.
The symptoms that I’ve experienced throughout the whole exam week included:

i) Inability to fall asleep
ii) If I manage to fall asleep, then it’s lack of sleep
iii) Panic starts seeping through the nights before exams around 9-10pm
iv) Due to symptom (i) and (ii), thus the fear of being unable to fall asleep
v) Headache from stress
vi) Palpitation
vii) And on the last day, surprisingly, too sleepy to study

And these symptoms differ in variety and degrees for everyone.
But once exams are over, poof! Symptoms all gone. Haha… stress indeed.
And to think that I have at least 3 more sessions like this to go before graduating!! T.T

My mom is like going on repeatedly that “you shouldn’t be so stressed about it… relax…your way of studying is not correct….etc” but I can’t help it!
My biggest problem is difficulty falling asleep, and I tried many ways to overcome it, but with little success.

I took a 20-minute quick walk around the neighborhood in the morning.
I drank warm milk religiously half an hour before I go to bed.
I read boring notes to induce sleepiness 10 minutes before bedtime.
In the dark, I drew a hole in my mind and imagine myself falling through it.
After falling through the hole and some 3 hours later, I checked the clock and it’s 4am.
And I’m still awake. =.=”

None really worked lor… but at least this time was slightly better than my previous finals in Jan 2010, ‘cause I got 2-3 hours of sleep for some nights instead of none at all la.

I seriously hope this will get better ‘cause my next one in Dec is an external examination and it’s 3 days straight, with no one-day-gap in the middle whatsoever.
I don’t think my willpower alone and the chicken essence can support me three days without sleep and still manage to pass every paper. >.<

Pray hard. Lol.

Anyway after like 4 days, I’m still not fully recovered yet. And I just realized I lost 2kg from the exam. Don’t know if it’s the penimbang rosak or what, so kua cheong meh…

But I’m planning an overnight trip! Yay! =D
Happy holidays pals!

Study Break

Just came back from dinner with family. Now that bro got transferred to Johor Bahru to work in the new branch, we see each other on a monthly or a bi-monthly basis, for a family dinner.

As I walked upstairs to enter my room, I heard music. Must have been him. That’s like his habit every time he comes home: leaving the music on in either of our rooms even after he left. And I usually ended up enjoying the music and disregarding whatever I should be doing… haha. Sometimes what we need is just a simple break, and that’s sufficient to make us happy.

We renovated our house many years ago, extending the back part of our house further (including both my bro’s room and mine). Before it was renovated, our windows were like next to each other. There was one night, we extended our hands out of the windows from our respective bedrooms, each holding a stuffed toy (mine a piggy and his a monkey), and the two stuffed toys chatted late into the night until mom came to knock on our doors ‘cause she heard it even from the master bedroom. Hahaha…

Even though we have an age gap of 10 years, growing up wouldn’t be the same without him. It was both fun and excruciating. It’s a love-hate relationship, really. This should be common for brother-sister siblings.

Anyway, I left James Blunt playing on the background, switched on the aircond, and stared at my crazy thick CR textbook for awhile… and then lost my focus. And started to take random pictures. Haha..



This is what happen when I’m bored during study break…

CR FR kiki lala...

was in a good mood despite fate looking bit gloomy next week

I like Sarah McLachlan's "Fallen" and "I will remember you"
Her voice is... as what a commentator said,
"hauntingly beautiful"

I think as we grow older and looked back into the past, we learn to appreciate it better than when we were at that exact moment.
These few days, I went through my old photos taken with family and friends throughout the last few years….even the ones I thought were not that nice... and I realized I missed those times so much.
Jiangnan was so beautiful despite the freezing weather… can’t wait for the next vacation.
Btw dad was so fat back then..Lol.

And don’t know why my smkbi 5SC1 vcd is spoiled d…couldn’t play past half of the slides. Ky can I copy yours after finals? =D

FML

Before I start writing more on this post, allow me to emphasize that I have no whatsoever intentions to commit into any relationships at the moment. (neither to offend anyone)
To cut things short, Me and Lv met through a friend of a friend. Being told that she is (was?) interested in me, I was up for this challenge, to keep things platonic . To let things reside solely on friendship based relationship, I often hang out with her in a group of friends , or I will keep my distance from her (politely that is) ; ie I will let her pay for her own meals, no physical contact, no flirtatious texts, no nothing. =) We didnt even add each other on facebook and msn, yet (thankfully I didnt) At one point, I thought, wow we might potentially be great hang out buddies. So as it seems...
Two weeks ago, I was busy preparing for my microbiology paper and several lab reports...and to begin with my V***fone barred me from receiving texts
On the same week,
(August 16th 1000am)
Text : Hey, sorry about last night, my friends were abit cuckoo. Dont believe wat they've just told u.
(by which they told me she likes me and I should give it a go and advance to 'second base')
(August 16th 1230pm)
Text : Hi , how are you? Usually you will text me this time to tell me your lecture is boring.
( August 16th 5.30pm)
Text : Im bored., hehe wat ya up to?
(August 16th  7.30pm)
Text: Hello? You there?
(August 17th  2.16pm)
Text : Is everything alright?
(August 17th 8.05pm)
Text : Are you sure you dont wanna talk?
(August 18th 12.03am)
Text: ...the fcuk are you avoiding me for?
( I still remember that night that  Im trying real hard to memorize streptococall strains and brucella)
(August 18th 2.35am)
Text: ...fuck godammit
(August 18th 5.30am)
Text: Sorry, I dont mean to lose my temper. Was not in a good mood. Please forgive me. Im gonna have dinner with my friend tonight. Wanna join?
(Wondering if she gets any sleep at all for that night...)
(August 18th 2.05pm)
Text : I feel much better now. And I hate people ignoring me.
(August 18th 2.35pm)
Text:  did i do something wrong...
(August 18th 2.55pm)
Text: empty text
(August 18th 3.30pm)
Text: So Hi, wats up?
( blame v***fone T.T)
(August 18th 4.45pm)
Text : F*** you asshole. You think ya so f***king high and mighty. F*** you dont u dare ever text or talk to me again.
( I know right...wtf is wrong with her)
(August 18th 8.15pm)
Text: Call me, text please. i nid to talk to som1.urgent.
(August 18th 8.30pm)
Text: Fine, dont call and dont text me. At all. Just to let u know Im deeply hurt n sad . I felt something between us. And now I have seen a true side of yours. U tk ppl for granted. Im glad I didnt accept u.
( Note: the statement Im glad I didnt accept u...haha funny aye? Accept me as wut?)
(August 18th 10.30pm)
Text: U fcking mother fcker. We always HAD fun and I TRIED to be happy with u. Im ALWAYS THERE WHEN U NID ME!!!u fcukface.go fuc* urself.
( i still remembered i was chatting with carmen on fb that night  abt our plans to watch SALT)
(August 18th 10.45pm)
Text: Ok, dont call me dont text me dont even bother sying hi to my face whenver we meet next time. I just want an explanation why did u wanna throw our relationship out just like that? Honestly, I see somethg in you. BUT U VE JUST LOST IT. text me back in 5 minutes if u wan it back.
( August 18th 10.50pm)
Text: Ok maybe 10 mins
(August 18th 11.45pm)
Text: Last chance. 1 hour or Im gonna kick u at the crotch.
(ouch. its pretty funny that I have ACTUALLY met her less than 5 times ,to think abt it)
(August 19th 12.30am)
Text:  you knw wat forget it. im not wasting my time n energy on a dumbfuck person lyk u, u r useless piece of sht, worse than a lil girl who is not daring to step up n tell me abt ur true feeling. go fck urself in hell
(August 19th 2.30am)
Text : I dont mean wat ive just said.
(August 19th 6.30am)
Text : no sleep thanks.
(August 19th 8.00am)
Text: i tried asking  XXX abt ur whereabout...i dont even knw wat to say...u guys r gangin up on me. fuck u.
(August 19th 2.30 pm)
Text: I have moved on. piss off
(August 19th 3.30pm)
Text: you owe me a conversation u man slut

I bought a new cellphone recharge the very next day after my test and to my surprise, I have got this endless texts beeping.
A total of 55 texts in less than a week from a person whom I barely know.

As you can tell, Im no longer friends with her.  I texted her on that very day I was bombarded by her massive texts, telling her that she is creepy and should stop.
 Lessons learnt:

1. Looks can be deceiving. Good looks are NOT NECESSARILY an emblem of good entity/ personality. Hot chicks can be insanely psychosis.
2. Careful when you date/make friends with passionate people. They swing in both extremities. They either  love you to death or hate you to death
3. Persistent is NOT ALWAYS  a good trait.
4. V*dafone is my secret cupid...and saviour.
5. Abusive; is never a good sign to initiate any sort of relationship

=) OMFG (thts my lil update abt my current life)

I want my own emancipation too...

Girls = troubles

Friday~

I like the feel of wind in a cooling Friday evening, after class ends.

Unknowingly, this long sem is gradually getting nearer to an end, leading to none other than students’ most stressed period --- final exams.

Throughout this semester, we’ve endured a totally different level of stress. Even when there are no assignment deadlines chasing after us till we’re left breathless, there is this constant nagging at the back of our heads. Things may seem calm and peaceful, as if there’s plenty of time till finals. But we are all more than aware of the amount of topics we have yet to catch up, tutorials left uncompleted, things left undone, and revision not even begun…

With that said, I don’t want to make my life so miserable. I still try to (stubbornly) take things easier (more than I should).
When it comes to studies, I realize that health is much more precious.
You could resit an exam. You can’t wake up from dead.

But when it comes to books other than textbooks or dramas, there’s nothing as too late, not even when the clock strikes 2am.
Haha… I know. I so deserve the exhaustion sometimes.

But I think it’s partly the stress that makes me so attached to these in the first place. Take for example, you place a tv remote in my hands and put me in front of the tv after the finals end, and I’ll tell you there’s nothing interesting and just walk off like that.

Everything becomes much more interesting when you can’t (or not supposed to have) access to them. Humans. =P

But I never said I wanted things that are so unreasonable or unachievable.
In fact, what I want the most now is just some days where I get to be idle, relax without feeling the guilt for doing so. Kinda like what I would feel every Thursday night, minus the fact that weekend ends after Sunday.

Anyway, just am glad that once again, it’s Friday.
A week has passed. A week closer to finals.

My aim this weekend: Make the weekend productive
Py, you can do it, ‘cuz you’re great. =)

Pharm ball 2010

thanks Carmen. You've made my night.

plead

God............. please help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and Py too.

in charge

Edmund, when would you wake up and take control of your own life.

Note to self

It's week 11, time to wake up (such glaring color) you lazy bum.

Restart your engine!! Gather Your Momentum!!

vRoOm~~~



zzzZzzz

sense of apathy

Im severely bruised.

chins up!

Sometimes when the worst thing does happen to you, the least you can do is forcefully smile. Appreciate lil things around u. And I feel blessed having two most important Ds in my life. Yup, my double D breast. Lol. Na, was just jokin. Ya know who am I referring to.

end.

worse possible thing happened to me. its gone now.

feels so blargh.

Nothing turns out to be in my way recently. Just one of those days.As usual, being in this course, no doubt, bombarded by heaps of studies...

Have you ever got the feeling of being helplessly lazy, but cant be bothered to do anything about it? =) Yes , I have a workload of 2 weeks to be completed and yes, Im slacking. I hate this semester, in terms of the types of paper I have to sit. Make little or no relevance at all to my future career. And its Microbiology, parasitology and genetics.Nuff said.

So...yea...its near to 11pm, and Im stucked in central lib.Just finished group discussion for Monday's assignment. But yet to finish the ppt. And...I cant be bothered walking home from lib. 30 mins tau... ><

Hence, camwhoring comes to play. To kill time. And to be stupid.

Time flies and Time crawls by

at the same time, but in different context.

This morning, I heard the alarm clock alright but I decided to ignore it. Continue sleeping…
Then I got two calls at the same time, one from the optical shop (still sleepy) and another asking me to submit a resume for a vacant position (quite awake by now). I was surprised that nowadays the HR would actually shortlist candidates a year before their graduation date?? Turned out there was confusion about the dates. =.=

Had quite a fun day yesterday. Hehe.
The day didn’t start really well, since I’ve got minor headache and the bus didn’t turn up on time. But after that, it’s all smooth.

Surprised Lei yee alright, she even teared a little. =P Am glad that she loves the presents, else all my effort for past few days gone to waste >.<
Had a really fun karaoke session, despite my voice were kinda drowned among the rest…(though admittedly my voice was kinda weak haha)

We don’t really hang out much with college friends, ‘cause I feel that no matter how it’s difficult to build up a friendship as deep as those we share with high school friends, just by being in the same class over a mere 1 or 2 years. Perhaps that’s due to the fact that we don’t spend as much time together. But anyhow we got to know some of them closer than the rest, and it was really fun to hang out with them. =D

Relationship is a kind of investment. You don’t put yourself out there, then you are unlikely to get much in return. But it’s not like you can guarantee a return at least equal to what you’ve invested either. There’re always risks involved. Haha… finance terms.

Sometimes, I wish that I can be emotionally independent of other people. That way, there’ll be one less distraction and disruption to my life, especially when people walk away (be it temporary or permanent). However, life without having any sort of relationship with people is just meaningless, in my opinion. Humans are not meant to live in isolation anyway. (Don’t know bout you, but I would die of loneliness, having nobody to talk to at all >.<) It’s just that every person having varying degrees of self defense system. Some let others into their hearts easier, and some find it harder to do so.

But in either case, once the bond strengthens to a certain extent, we become vulnerable. Their actions affect your emotions.
In some cases, I think it’s like a sweet poison, only milder.
It can be sweet and addictive, but one that you can’t get yourself out without going through the withdrawal symptoms.

sNap !

Yes , this is how I feel currently.Well, in real life,of course my expression is less animated.

To be truthful,I sometimes despise my friends here.

Semester break is almost over, and friends are coming back to this town, one by one.Being with them reminds me once again,how superficial they are. Guess nothing will ever change no matter how hard I pray.

Anyway,today I got to spend some time alone (yay!), doing things that I like, enjoying solitude.

Anyway, I dyed my hair burgundy (though it seems otherwise in these pictures) and had a haircut.Most expensive haircut ever I had in my life. f*ck that.

Im hot.Shut up. XD

Ps:Im  soooooo lazy to update my post about my trips to Chch,welly n Auckland.One day...one day...i will finish it lol.My old laptop fucked up again T.T

WTF post

When Im this bored, I love to spend time talking to myself.  Termed me having disordered mental pattern or whatever, but my erratic behaviour has slowly grown fond with my nature.I thought as you grow older, you grow wiser.
 Im not quite right though; as for my case.
One morning I just felt like flying to Auckland, the very next hour I found myself printing off the itinerary without any planning.
Feeling annoyed, I found myself swiping my card for a Burberry scarf and shirt.
When plagued with deep boredom, I bought myself bubble tea at 11pm to feed my craving (yea Dnd still sells them at this time,surprising huh).And then dying my hair again at 3am.
I planned to shave one side of my head tommorow.But I dont like the idea of being the next Britney.
But most of time , I feel agitated but dont quite know the root of this anger.
I think Im sexually deprived.I need a warm pie.Would be a good help.

Me...Psychosis?

Frustration

…….

That’s how I feel right now. I have this urge to scream as loud as possible and curse my lecturer to being @@ right now. Too bad it’s quite late at night (don’t wanna disturb neighbours) and my curse wouldn’t work anyway.

How ah? Clock’s ticking. The words on the books remain as confusing. My mind’s nothing but a mess.
=D

Help man.

Adrenaline

In a state of high neuronal firing rate , I've found myself pressing the enter key, selecting 'Pay Now'.There it goes, saving my itinerary.
By far, this is the most daring thing I have ever done.Yes, my life is relatively mundane when you found out what I've just did (might not be as 'death defying' as u've been expected)
I travelled to Oamaru, Timaru and now,I'm still currently in Wellington.Im flying off back to Dunedin in the next two days.But the next three days I will be flying off to Auckland again. ~~OMFG~~
And the funny thing is, I know noone there. It will be my first backpacking journey. A journey I sure hope is pleasantly memorable.
Pray for me ;)
Ps: Its funny how I get myself into deepshyte like this when Im not thinking right/stressed XP

OMG im sooo indecisive...

aaahhh i cant decide whether to fly to auckland or not ... ><>< prices are peaking already...n not much time is left

Quoting someone:

"If we're all alone, then we're all together in that too."

...man was i soooo mad that my energy vibe is harnessed through my whole flat to the extent of my flatmates are like living in fear...of me.
to be continued.

To Freeze That Instant Moment

Don’t know why, but I think I’m someone who gets lonely, at certain times. Like, when I’m emotionally weak and nobody is around to talk to. Everyone gets that. It’s just the matter of how they deal with it.

At these times, often, my best way to channel out my feelings is by writing it down. Blogs just aren’t the same. I like to write, to feel my inner thoughts pouring out from the tip of the pencil, to listen to the sounds of words being scratched onto the papers, until the pages are full with my own handwriting, and keep going on till my hand feels slightly sore. I’m sure some people would understand what I mean. Keyboard and monitor just doesn’t give you the same level of satisfaction. Haha… not to mention blogs are meant to be open to readers. It’s like exposing a part of you that’s normally hidden from view from others.

But the reason blogging is popular, I think, is exactly that. Everyone hopes to be understood, at least, by a few certain people. To be known more, and to be accepted (to some extent?).

Though preferring papers over computers, I think diary is too bothersome to maintain. But I do have a nice little book for this purpose. It’s really thin, you know, to keep me from feeling the pressure to fill its pages. Haha…

Please don’t attempt to read by zooming in btw. But anyhow it’s in Chinese and the photo quality is quite bad. Hahaha, so most of you couldn’t read it anyway. =P

Anyway I'm just blabbering now 'cause no one is around. Where have all the people gone to? Lol.

Is the only way of succeeding is done only by some underlying sorts of betrayal? Is being evil the only way to cheat your way through life?
I bet that there will be alot of answers protesting against these statements.But they are spoken words,merely.Far opposite from what myself have witness.
If your intention is to hurt me, you are doing it perfectly right.Right on note.
Now I know the feeling that EVERYONE is an ACTOR.Life is just another form of staged play.You can never trust anyone.
Learn your lesson already,Edmund.It hurts getting betrayed and bitched.
Be a bitch to ya,be even a bigger bitch to them.

social withdrawal

fucking hate this shyte.Ppl are so revolting.

I'm a happy girl!

Haha... a fruitful shopping spree and having a well deserved holiday do this to people. ^^

PAISEH-nya!!!

Hmm...nothing...

Anyway....

Finally, three months and a week of internship is finally over! =D

Fuh~ I can now breathe a sigh of relief. Actually starting from the last two weeks, I’ve been counting down with my friends. Haha… and my last week there is certainly not boring than before the tax deadline, if not more interesting.

On the last few days, first I got food poison because of a mere few pieces of roti jala + curry chicken. Don’t ask me why, ‘cause the rest of the gang ate it too and nobody but me had any problem with it. After (finally) being able to utilize my one day per month of MC, (although not as happy as I thought I would be), I then went back to work. Before this, all of us interns thought our lives would be easier and more relaxing after the tax filing deadline ends at 30th April. Well, no such luck pals. Work’s still keep coming till literally the last minute, 5:32pm on our last day. Till we say that we needa do clearance and return our IDs and laptops.

But it was also on our last two day that we got to interact more on a personal basis with the seniors. Had our self-organized farewell dinner with all the interns and few of the seniors at Chilies on the last day. I only regretted that I have to suppress my laughter the entire night due to a mysterious pang of pain at my ribcage and a bloated stomach (due to Chilies’ super large portions). It was superb. =D (despite i looked ugly in the candid photos, but nvm)

And if I have to summarize the gist of last three months into few words, I would pick: Exhausting and Good experience. I have learnt a lot, and most important of them being the skills to deal with people and the right attitude at work.

The last three months have not been a waste of energy and it’s way better than wasted lazing at home and being couch (or computer chair) potato.

And cheers to meeting my new good friends. =)

The truth hurts...

Im a person full of hatred.Just because I hold onto my own equation of quantifying oneself in the worth of self integrity. I will continue to remind myself that Im battling within myself, not just with them, so that I wont lose easily to this war.

Dignity

Yep, that’s one word you remind me of.

I might not be perfect, far from it. But I do have some self dignity.
If I am mistaken, prove me wrong. Else, staying away might be a better option.

Better now than later, right?

injustice

i had my 2nd emotional breakdown just now,to date since I've arrived in Dnd

Camera,roll and... action!

Staring blankly at my table clock,my vision slowly deemed into opaque.The hands of the clock remind me so much of pyrazine and then slowly evolved to imide.I rubbed my eyes and it looked so much like a sulfomyl group.
Man, I have two tests tommorow, and an interview/act. And Im nowhere near to stress, its so bad. I keep pushing myself to read the same materials again and again...but most of the time,Im just distracted.My reticular formation activites must have been reduced aye...
In the state of...i-dont-give a shyte on-anything-at-all, judging that I've always been in an endless cycle of arguments with my flatmates, and studied 'relatively' harder than some other BUT scoring lower marks...just kick me off the curb down to the pathetic valley.That's why Im allowed to take some time off now (as always) to procrastinate XP
I can keep complaining but I chose not to.Just because I can,hahaha (no lah...too tired actually).
Btw, I have a role playing tommorw as well, much described by this post's heading.I didnt rehearse my lines at all...it's supposed to be spontaneous anyway,So I just hope that I wont be that nervous,nervous enough to fcuk up my lines.XD And and and and I do hope I dont look effing ugly and retarded on cam.Euw.
Anyhow, wish me luck =)

Lack of Foresight

Sometimes I think I'm such a dum-dum, for being so honest and put my internship completion date at 8th May instead of 30th April. Most of my friends have the sense enough to think bout the rest they could (should!) get before the (very) tough final year at college starts. Urgh.

I'm so tired nowadays that every morning after I'm at my desk, all I want in the whole wide world is a pillow, a bed and a good few hours.