I'd Do Anything

but study. Seriously.

I totally understand the idea of bumming and how scary it could be when you don't feel the fear and worry you should be feeling.

Btw I love reading blogs with thought provoking posts. They're addictive. I just can't stop clicking to read other posts. Not something good when you have exams like, in less than a week's time.

Lesson for the day:
Never, and I mean never, to trust my self discipline and switch on the laptop early morning. No matter for what excuse.

Hmm...Maybe I should list them down in here next time, so you guys can get addicted too. Then we'll all be in the same boat. Hahaha...

Just kidding. Good stuffs are meant to be shared. =)

Luxur...ies?

I took a few days off and still counting...
Allow me to shed the light on what i have done for these past few days.

Dine out in somewhere fancy...?

Listening to him~

Shopping...

Admiring Spring...

Swim Heaps !

The gayest thing i did in my life.Went for a Shise!do facial right after social medicine lecture. Was doubting it...cuz...im a guy...almost cancelled my appointment. But hey i've made it.Seriously,its kinda relaxing.

peace out

Time out

Love the cherry blossoms, dont ya?

I have been seriously bumming for the whole week, its so scary, u'll have no idea...

Im so screwed for this semester.

Ice Creams

Do you have an unspoken bond with ice creams?

?

help me.
God please.what do u want?
im really tired.i swear on my life.i am.


should i just end it?

thr's a chapel in my soul

Social medicine and epidemiology lecture just ended. I found myself dumbstruck revising the notes that i find a little affinity with.Something about the headings " Severe hardships " keep me riveting.Down those bullet points, i saw the description of life shocks, given an elaboration of conditions justifying the state of bankruptcy and marriage break ups. And then i suddenly thought...what about me?
My challenge to the group was met with averted eyes. Despite an appreciation of our cultural diversity,i have learned a great depth of discomfort . I did not plead them neither asking for a favour to see me in all sorts of complexity. And all i can thought of is just how to drift past 2009.Its mentally challenging and physically straining. I learnt that friends are just labels you termed people as. Unspoken truth, lies and bitching are all part of this facade.
Im too numb to handle the 'friendship prognosis'. I cant be bothered to tolerate or to be tolerated. I despise people here, how fake and bitchy they could be. And since when entitlement is something you should gain when you wanna lose your temper? Is this the life i opt for? Why am i so unprepared for all these shytes? Friends accused me of being indifferent and bad tempered. Why wouldnt they think about the reasons to it? And again, its part of their fake empathethic dialogue again, its part of their game.
I have tried to forgive her, but she makes it inaccessible.Little did she realise tht it is irreversible now.The things she did is in line with the prevention paradox hypothesis.She said one thing but did another."She's just being a bitch again".I was too naive , even for my own age , that things will be for the better, and perhaps it did, but on a long run.I have been told that in near future, my light will be bleak.I've been told that i did so little that i will be ridiculed if im spiralling into depression.And he has been told that how she wished he is as obedient as the dog fetching a twig back to his owner. She made herself clear that it is a misfortune to flat with her.She particularly confronted me that she hate things being said behind her back. And then,she did all of those ...Doing things behind our back,not that i care, it just brings me back on the pondering zone of how fake a person can be.Looking at their pictures in facebook, no one could have ever doubt such young 'angelic' faces would turn so ugly inside out. And there was a few other ones.All i could sense from them is the smell of bitchiness.They segregate and then isolate you.Like random toys u pick up,played on your own pace and pleasure and then threw them aside.I could talk to noone here,the image of me being humiliated or betrayed always pop out in advance,i can always see a coherent image of me being hurt.Like what they did to her.And how i was influenced to do so as well. And i regretted signing the contract.The contract that bound us to stay together for the whole 12 months of 2010.Again, fcuk u all.

picking up the pieces...

Ive been spinning round and round.
Waiting for something profound to happen.
It hadnt occured to me that semester break is just 5 sleeps away.

What do i care? Why does it bother me? My 'friends' are heading back to their home for the wee break,for better or for worse. Ive been thinking alot.I stood in front of my computer,click the "View my grades" tab,and there it is. My latest HUBS results...Worst among my previous scores.Sad? No,i just nonchalantly close my Uni window, and resumed.Life moves on. So as i hope...

Good News!

Hmm… the atmosphere here is becoming a lil tense. Let me brighten the blog bit with some good news!

My dad has finally completed his torturous chemo sessions (a lot of cancer patients didn’t even survive this and still be in a decent shape) and had his final scan few days ago. And no cancer cells have been detected! One thing though, not detected doesn’t mean they do not exist at all in the body. It merely means that even if there are still some cancerous cells, they are not in big enough numbers or active enough to be detected. Still, it is great news! He was able to go through these chemo and radiotherapy sessions and not looking too bad after that, other than losing some hair and some weight. But anyone who saw my dad last year or before would have agreed that he needed to lose some weight anyway. Haha…

All should be okay from now on, only that my mom and I needa keep an eye out for his diet. You know la western doctors, they are not particularly strict on telling patients to refrain from eating certain things that Chinese medical practitioners would definitely discourage, e.g. seafood and pork etc. Western doctors encourage balanced diet. Thus patients like my dad especially, would take that as the perfect excuse to chopstick any prawns or other “forbidden” food into his plate. (only to be chopstick-ed back out by my mom or me, lol)

Thanks for all the prayers and concern shown by friends and family. I must say I’m not a daughter who knows how to express affection and concern well (perhaps due to our Chinese culture, can’t help that), but I love my dad nonetheless! =)

p/s: My 3-week-long assignments marathon has finally come to an end...Thank god we managed to complete all without knowing that we will fail any subject. Final exam due within 2 weeks. Back in lazy mode all ovEr again...

U...FCUK U

i was rudely shook and awaken by the alarm,the fact tht my room is right next to the bloody main entrance of my house,i can hear ppl swiftly banging the bloody doors.and today was no exception,but the alarm just went off.i tried to ignore it,having my earplugs on...but it just go on and on...you know how piercing themotherfucking alarm sound could be...i just hopped out of my bed,stormed out of my room,and there...my HT and a guy stood there trying to fix it.I just stared at them,giving them the WTF look.ANd it finally stop.
Then my bloody neighbour came back with whole bunch of random whores.As pompous and loud these ppl can be,he started playing catch and release with his bloody stressball ,throwing it back and forth against the wall,THE WALL SEPARATING our room.THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL that my BED LIES ADJACENT TO.
A few hours prior,i had a misunderstanding with my friends.They do enjoy annoying me,but i wasnt in the mood of having my buttons pushed,so i went berserk.And the atmosphere just dampen,instead of a plan of clubbin later tonite,we all become shitty and of course,eventually we ended not going anywhere.i hate dealing with all these fucked up childish shytes tht they loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to stir up.ah well.
FUCK U ALL.

o f*ck

i cant deal with all these childish shytes.

fcuked up.

urgh im so maddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
how f*cked up my life can get...like seriously.
and now i have to listen to his 'lecture'...

~kimak betul...

just when ive gained some mood to blog...my laptop refute.cibai...die at the wrong time.use public computer very syiok meh~ ma de~

Lonesome soul

i just want to be happy.

i hate her response.
do i still need to pretend tht its ok...
already did.

Flat Hunting

Who knows that finding a flat could possibly be this strenous and difficult.
New Year always comes with new challenge , and next year 2010 comes with no exception.
So here are some few (hopefully helpful) tips and some things that you ought to know before flatting ...that i would like to share :

1. Choose Carefully.When i say choose your flat carefully,i really mean it.You would be like duh,obviously.This sound absurd but when i say choose,flat aside,what about your potential flatmates?When ya going to flat for the FIRST time,it is definitely easy to focus on the good points of your future flatmates.Look ahead,and think deep what does living in hall thought u about?Familiarity breeds contempt,aye?Yup.Will it bother you if your friend is the bossy naggy uptight freak?You would think,nah its alright...since you've made it alive living with your mum.Nope,you very likely to be wrong.Most friendships turn ugly,and sour when you do not consider well,and i mean it (personal experience).Will it bother you if they come home drunk during your exams?Can you live with their weird habits and fussy eating?Can you cope with seeing someone's else pubes in the shower/toilet cubicle?However,differences can be embraced if you lay down your terms n discuss well with them in advance.
2. Getting well insulated is very crucial esp in a cold place like here.There is always one of us that will have a higher tendency to use up the power,driving the electricity bill down to debt.All the flatmates wanna save up except one ( ireally hope thts not me though...lolx).Its the matter of priorities,genetic studies taught us well that variation help us to thrive to era,both introns n exons and as well as the environmental factor constitute to one's well being.So do consider what is reasonable to you and are some flatties willing to pay more or less?Thus,plan and discuss not just abt the electricity consumption but also on expenditure on weekly groceries,water-heating,and other expenses.Before you go flatting.make sure you're not commiting yourself to a lifestyle you cant afford & think abt your future flatmates's spending habits.If you're the account holder for phone or power,you will be held responsible for paying the whole bill if your flatmate cant/wont contribute.To share the risk,GET THEM TO PUT THEIR NAMES ON DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS. DONT BE SHY !
   
3. Some of your flatmates (like me me me ) like quiet environment,while others like music tht rattles the windows...and then there's noisy sex,thin walls and early morning stompers,and late night pacer.It might be funny at first,but trust me,after a month...its nowhere near to stimulating your sympathethic nervous system (autonomic) and for any other limbic/arousal stimulations.They will just simply moralise the whole situation that it is their flat as well,their share,and their piece of cake,n they got the right to make themselves feel at home.So how do you deal with all these shytes.Often not just in the hall of residence,but in flatting too,one flatmate often doesnt participate in anything;in the whole flat bonding thing and the other feel dissed.Ask yourself what are your expectations of flatting? Are you the party flat or the I-am-so-asian-im-so gonna be- a med student flat? Or are you the flat where our friends come around when they feel deficient in Vitamin Cozy and Emotional Stability.Again , a bit of advance communication can clear up potential problems.

~THE BEGINNING OF THE END.~
Got something interesting off my uni mag,from my seniors and oso based on own personal experience in living in d hall abt how some students dealt with shits their flatmates have put up with.

• THE BOTTLER-Silently seething abt the problem ,personalizing everything you say and then unexpectedly you trip over their wire.Wicked =)
• PLAYING NASTY - getting some of your flatmates onside, you've got someone to bitch about the others with. Eee-ther , aiii-ther.
• PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - ignoring the problem,avoiding the person thats bothering you,playing reverse phsycology ,slamming doors,being snarky.
• BEING A MUNTER -Playing practical jokes,like putting their cellphone in to lost property,or glad wrap on their toilet seat.

Moral of the story : most problems can be dealt effectively with a bit of diplomacy,negotiation and some level of tolerance.
XD

Lo and Behold!!

This might be Yuen Pui Yee's very first subject to fail!
hahahaha.....

(happy now?)

Taggie tagged by sam

1. Besides your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
~ hmm.. maybe hair on the head. I never tried that b4 but it seems so sweet. haha.

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
~ My voice not feeling too good. And nervous, cause need to practise for my english presentation...(it was not bad =D)

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with?
~ arr... d ones on my convocation day.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
~ Am I? Err...housechores-wise, yes. XD Others things...not so. I think this is largely due to when I was a kid and was once crying to ask my parents to get me something, my parents ignored me. (so next time ignore ur kids' spoiled-brat-tears. lol.)

5. Will you ever donate blood?
~ I thought bout it. Last time it was bcuz I was underweight (u havta be at least 45kg). But now that I fulfill that condition, I saw another criteria listed there is no heart disease. So I guess ppl would havta survive without my blood. (it wasn't O type anyway)

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
~ Of course.


7. Do you want someone to be dead?
~ No. I don't even hate any1 right now.


8. What does your last text message say?
~ From ky. just a BIG smiley face. =D

9. What are you thinking right now?
~ I want moRe time to do my assignments. like moRe than a week.

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
~ I think about that sometimes when I'm free...too bored..sad...excited...all that. But right now I'm busy. So ask me that few days later. haha.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
~ 1am...? something like that.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
~ It was years and years ago.

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
~ Right now? No.But I think I'm going to have headache soon.

14. Who was the last person who text you ?
~ kimyEn. the smiley remember?

15. I don't tag ppl, much. So there you go, it ends here. =)

happiness

im desperate for it.