a hatred note.

Yesterday I’d convinced myself that today, precisely this morning, will be a fine one. I’ve always despised labs, CELS191 and now the dreaded BIOC 192, we were the slowest bunch to start with; in completing any experiments (and I thought my lab partner was hindering me until then).
Anyway, I have done my preparation before my Lab, and as for today, i totally thought to myself that Im gonna nail this 9am lesson. So, me with my oh so optimistic behaviour headed off straight to G02 lab greeted my pretty ang mo lab partner, and getting ready to rock...those minor experiments.
The thing with myself that i have been battling for the longest time is my severe inferiority complex. I was told that i got all nervous and fidget-y whenever it comes to practical. The uptight and the stressed one. Anyway, my enthusiasm was cut short when I was dealing with the specthrometer. Switched it on, seems like it has been taking a wee bit too long than usual to give readings, lifted my hand up,signalling to one of the facilitators, (my fucking table facilitator actually)...came over, and rudely said “Man its calibrating, you should know these, its been the fourth week, use half of ur brain at least “ I was shocked beyond the gagged part of me. Rudely awaken, i was too speechless to retaliate. I do admit what i have enquired is kinda dumb. But that fucking machine is always fucked up. Like come on, how much confidence can u put on it. And plus you are a bloody teaching staff ( fyi, he isn’t a lecturer, just some random PhD student helping out, I supposed), can you at least be more professional. Implying and raising your tone do not put you anywhere near to a respectable stand. It was clear enough that this dumbfuck shit was bloody rude when he made it loud and clear when all my fellow table mates heard his ‘genuine’ remark on me. And believe me, you bloody ‘made’ my day. Embarrassing me like that, implying that Im dumb beyond help.I was sooooo fucking humiliated and I have NOWHERE to hide, with those students staring at me...
He thinks he is so fucking smart, undermining my presence. You motherfucking prick. You’ve just mark a date on my calendar.One of those most embarrassing moment of my life.There’s no excuse for ya fucking rudeness when esp ya part of the teaching fellow. Fuck you, godammit. YOU Motherfucking son of a bitch LET ME TELL YOU Dont fucking MOCK my intelligence level (this applies to anyone as well, doubt my intellectual skills, you ‘ll see) . I swear I will make you pay for this you fucktard. Messed with me once, I will bloody make sure I will screw up your whole life = ).May you rot in hell.